Things that make me want to punch myself in the face...

I drank a lot last night, thus I have been laying on the couch all day like a beached whale, quietly crying inside while I have my eyes and ears brutally raped by television. Which brings me to this, a vehement tirade that only comes from watching TV for 12 hours. Let's get right into it.

1. Ultimate Fighting. I will admit that I like watching grown men beating the shit out of each other. It is entertaining and easy to get into. But I swear people have already taken this shit too far. I know at least 5 guys that are "training" in hopes of becoming an ultimate fighter. I see them getting trashed at the bar wearing their stupid fighter gear (Under Armor, Tapout, excessive screen print white trash tribal shit) coupled with fighter haircuts (mohawk or faux hawk) picking fights anyone that invades their turf. I hate these dudes and their tan trashy chicks with their bud-lite blue eyes. Don't breed.

2. Tiger Woods. You have done an amazing job hiding the fact that you are a robot. Congrats. But do you really need more endorsements? You are a billionaire, you can let a few things slide and not plaster your name on everything. Does the world really need Tiger's own line of performance drinks? Couldn't you just have your own flavor like Jordan did with Citrus Cooler (btw it was totally solid)? But noooooo Gatorade thinks Tiger should have an entire product line. What is next? Tiger tampons? I can almost visualize the commercial. "Tiger tampons, when you need a hole in one every time"

3. I saved this asshole for last. I hate this guy and I want to fight him. I feel like he is personally taking a potato peeler to my eyes every time I see this. If karma and reincarnation really exist this dude should come back as a deformed male prostitute where he is forced to service mutant Chernobyl victims. That would be almost fair. Almost.

There will be blood...

Holy shit. I know I might be a little late on this but who cares. I watched "There will be blood" today and I have come to a conclusion. Daniel Day Lewis is completely batshit insane and I love it. The movie as a whole wasn't what I expected, it was like they tricked Daniel into thinking they were making a movie. But really it was a 3 hour long chance for the film maker to video tape Lewis basically being himself. I am willing to bet that there wasn't even a script. I wonder if the scene where Lewis kills the guy with a bowling pin is real. That's how convincing Lewis is. Man that dude is sweet...

ENOUGH!

I love Detroit sports. That being said I have to vent about this. I already loathe the Fox network and the giant slop of programs they pollute to the world, but this is too much. Who the fuck thought to themselves that this is good? Whoever green-lighted this commercial needs to beaten with wet leather belts until their skin melts off the bone. This song sucks, the dude with the goggles is a nauseating douche bag, and they play this thing NON-STOP. I cant take it. And to salt my wounds the Tigers are complete shit. April in the D!