Things that make me want to punch myself in the face...

I drank a lot last night, thus I have been laying on the couch all day like a beached whale, quietly crying inside while I have my eyes and ears brutally raped by television. Which brings me to this, a vehement tirade that only comes from watching TV for 12 hours. Let's get right into it.

1. Ultimate Fighting. I will admit that I like watching grown men beating the shit out of each other. It is entertaining and easy to get into. But I swear people have already taken this shit too far. I know at least 5 guys that are "training" in hopes of becoming an ultimate fighter. I see them getting trashed at the bar wearing their stupid fighter gear (Under Armor, Tapout, excessive screen print white trash tribal shit) coupled with fighter haircuts (mohawk or faux hawk) picking fights anyone that invades their turf. I hate these dudes and their tan trashy chicks with their bud-lite blue eyes. Don't breed.

2. Tiger Woods. You have done an amazing job hiding the fact that you are a robot. Congrats. But do you really need more endorsements? You are a billionaire, you can let a few things slide and not plaster your name on everything. Does the world really need Tiger's own line of performance drinks? Couldn't you just have your own flavor like Jordan did with Citrus Cooler (btw it was totally solid)? But noooooo Gatorade thinks Tiger should have an entire product line. What is next? Tiger tampons? I can almost visualize the commercial. "Tiger tampons, when you need a hole in one every time"

3. I saved this asshole for last. I hate this guy and I want to fight him. I feel like he is personally taking a potato peeler to my eyes every time I see this. If karma and reincarnation really exist this dude should come back as a deformed male prostitute where he is forced to service mutant Chernobyl victims. That would be almost fair. Almost.

There will be blood...

Holy shit. I know I might be a little late on this but who cares. I watched "There will be blood" today and I have come to a conclusion. Daniel Day Lewis is completely batshit insane and I love it. The movie as a whole wasn't what I expected, it was like they tricked Daniel into thinking they were making a movie. But really it was a 3 hour long chance for the film maker to video tape Lewis basically being himself. I am willing to bet that there wasn't even a script. I wonder if the scene where Lewis kills the guy with a bowling pin is real. That's how convincing Lewis is. Man that dude is sweet...

ENOUGH!

I love Detroit sports. That being said I have to vent about this. I already loathe the Fox network and the giant slop of programs they pollute to the world, but this is too much. Who the fuck thought to themselves that this is good? Whoever green-lighted this commercial needs to beaten with wet leather belts until their skin melts off the bone. This song sucks, the dude with the goggles is a nauseating douche bag, and they play this thing NON-STOP. I cant take it. And to salt my wounds the Tigers are complete shit. April in the D!

2000 and Bass!!!

In the tradition of bass pioneers such as DJ Magic Mike, Poison Clan, MC A.D.E., DJ Assault and basically anyone with an insane amount of bass I have embarked on a weekly mission to record (by record, I mean torture ears) a bass tribute album that encompasses many different eras of bass. With the help of a silent partner (by silent, I mean he is too ashamed to be named) we have recorded 2 full tracks of speaker ripping trash. Tentatively titled "2000 and Bass" this album should invoke memories of a time much simpler. Kenwood, Alpine, Kicker, and Rockford Fosgate ruled the inside of hatch-backs throughout my youth and I intend to give this place in time its overdue homage. I will posting the title track shortly so stay tuned in.

return of the blog..

Yeah, yeah, yeah...It's basically been forever since I have posted a blog and I really don't have a solid excuse on why but I figured this is totally worthy of a new post. After a night of football and food, I found myself in my local watering hole (The Alley Bar) last night for a couple drinks. The bar was pretty empty as temperatures were in the single digit area in Ann Arbor and without some locals to socialize with I nearly packed it in, settling for an early night. Fortunately I chose to stay a tad longer as my night would get uniquely better. The door opened pushing a fresh wave of faces and icy air. A guy named Jeff and his dog "Caster" pulled up some stools right next to me. Caster sat stoically in his stool and ordered a whiskey and water in a bowl as Jeff and I got through the getting to know yous. After a few rounds in us the time had came for shots. "Puppy Shots" flowed as Caster and I lapped away at our respective bowls. Caster was pretty much the best bar buddy I have ever encountered as we drank and discussed a wide range of topics ranging from politics, football, and bitches. Many "Puppy Shots" had been tucked away into our livers and it finally took its toll on the young lad as he passed out at the bar. Goodbyes were said and kisses exchanged as we went about our separate ways into the winter night.

If you want to destroy my sweater...

It's starting to smell rotten in Denmark. What started out as a simple dry cleaning has turned into potential war. Back in July while working with my comrade Marc Labelle in Pasadena, I had dropped off my sweater (see photo) into the hands of the Ritz Carlton. The next day I received my sweater folded nicely on my bed only to realize they had manhandled it. It had been reshaped to fit an oompa loompa and the tag had been torn. Heartbroken that my prized cashmere dream had been shattered I turned to help of Mr. Labelle. Marc being the diplomat when it comes to negotiations with hotel concierges I figured my loss was safe in his hands. After a meeting with our liaison in the concierge room I felt relieved by their offer of a gift certificate to replace my magical sweater. Situation resolved, so I naively thought. Months fly by and the nights get cooler which brings me to today. As I scroll through my closet looking for a warm sweater to break the chill of what finally feels like fall I stumble upon my old pal. Immediately my heart and soul is filled with anger and sorrow over the inability to wear that comfy staple. To make matters worse (as if they could possibly be) I still have not received my promised gift certificate. This is where it gets weird. As I am pining in my closet the phone rings, it's Marc and he is repeating the word sweater with an ominous tone. We talk briefly about the usual and he says he is still working on my gift certificate. I am starting to think this was all a sinister plan by Labellicus to strip me of my cashmere armor and toy with my spirit. I am going to put some thought into the dialogue of events and if they add up it means one thing. WAR! Hope you are ready you old warrior.

I got that work!

Another weekend, another cannon ball run to the Pere Marquette river. As the season winds down I made hopefully not my last of 12 trips to the PM/LM this year, and it was probably the best of the year. I met my fishing partner Ryan at our usual M59/US23 parking lot at 3am on Saturday morning to make the drive up. After 3 hours of awesome radio and red bull we got into Baldwin around 6am and headed straight for BBT. Picked up a few necessities, arranged a car spot, got out room keys, and went straight to the river. Wanting to avoid the insane number of people up north this weekend we went down to the lower/mid waters. Besides the walk in areas along the drift the Lower to Walhalla stretch was pretty much 6 or 7 drift boats besides us. Met a really solid 2 man crew of older fishermen that we played leap frog with all day. It was nice to see a couple 60 something guys throwing their drift boat over the guard rail at Lower, made me laugh as I thought the young guys were the only ones that did that. We beat the boats down to a couple holes that always seem to have guides on them but the fish just werent in there. For this stretch it seemed the fish were strictly on the redds or deep shoots next to them. I really dont like fishing redds but I dislike not catching fish even more so we gave in. Logmark area and Mapleleaf had tons of fish on the redds and even more people. Luckily we found a nice area just past Mapleleaf between Barothy's that had a great number of fish in it. Mixed up technique and flies with great results/patience. We actually pissed off enough salmon to get them to bite. Hooked into nearly 30 fish between the two of us and actually landed 6 fair hooked ones. Overall a really good day, but really tired as we both havent went to sleep in a day or so.

Sunday we wanted to a shorter drift so we went down to Rainbow to Sulak. Not many people on that stretch except for the usual guides that have to drop in a Macdougals. Fishing was really slow and we nearly got skunked. But thankfully we found a deep hole near the end of the drift with an amazing number (60 to 70) of FRESH salmon in it. One of the best days I have had in years. The hole was covered in shade and leaves so it really helped in hiding our lines. If it wasnt for the giant log running down the backside (salmon magnet) we would of landed more but still ended up with 5 or 6 each. Overall a really sucessful weekend if it ends up being my last for salmon. Met a few groups of really nice people which made fishing even more fun. Hopefully we will get one more run and I will get another weekend away from home.